Beckham of Pak journalism

Like any person affiliated with the right wing, Javed Chaudhry has managed to brew anti-India and pro-Jamaat sentiments. Similarly, and fittingly, as the quintessential flag-bearer of a patriarchal society Chaudhry has been promoting gender inequality for a while now. He once dedicated a column empathising with a man who had acid thrown on his wife’s face just because she asked for divorce after falling in love with another man

Pakistani journalists are intrinsically righteous people. It’s almost as if the country’s top philanthropists, ethics professors and social workers decided to come together to bestow upon the field of journalism, their volumes of morals, integrity and rectitude. And it doesn’t end there.

Our journalists combine these virtues with virtuosity. And these virtuosos with virtues and virtuosity, virtually vitiate our viruses. In other words, they’re God’s gift to Pakistan. And to earmark the best among this crème de la crème of global journalism is a pretty daunting task.

You have the likes of Nazir Naji with his expertise in swearing, Mubasher Luqman with his interview staging, Hassan Nisar and his ship jumping, Dr Shahid Masood with the Doomsday dhandora, Najam Sethi unnecessarily taking care of everything; and these are just a few examples of how strong the upper echelon of Pakistani journalism is. However, despite the simmering competition, there’s one name that stands out among the very best in the field. Just like the late 90s and early 2000s, when despite the presence of more talented footballers, David Beckham’s name stood out among some of the finest footballers in the world.

While Javed Chaudhry might not be as strong a proponent of the three Cs (Corruption, Commotion and Conspiracy) of Pakistani journalism, as some of his illustrious colleagues, his own repertoire features some of the most viral maladies. And it’s this particular catalog that sets him apart from his peers.

Making a career out of hogging the right wing is something both Beckham and Chaudhry share. And it’s the accurate delivery from the right wing that has been their weapon-in-chief. Furthermore, while Beckham has a repo with Madridistas, Chaudhry uncannily shares the same with Madrasas.

Beckham is renowned for his pinpoint accuracy and his ability to find the target from his preferred wing that brought him fame at Manchester United and Real Madrid. And Javed Chaudhry became famous for doing the same at Jang and Express. 1998 was a career changing year for both of them.

What David Beckham has done on the right wing for the past couple of decades is well documented, and hence, let’s focus on Javed Chaudhry’s right wing exploits.

Javed Chaudhry’s wholehearted support and unconditional love for the Taliban and the likes of Sipah-e-Sahaba is something even Victoria Beckham would envy. He once famously compared the Taliban with Imam Hussain in his endevaour to dub George W Bush the Yazeed of his time back in 2007 (http://express.com.pk/epaper/Article.aspx?newsID=1100116738&Date=20070130&Issue=NP_LHE).

Chaudhry takes the term “Taliban apologist” to a whole new level, by repeatedly sympathising with them and telling the world how not every single one of the Taliban is a terrorist. And as one of the best right wingers of his time, Javed Chaudhry delivers the ideal combination of anti-US rhetoric and the “freedom fighters” gibberish, especially at clutch time.

Just like Beckham, Chaudhry’s first impression isn’t that of a right winger; and like Beckham he seems like someone who’d be more suited for the centre. Pace, dribbling, or nutmegs weren’t a part of Beckham’s skill set and similarly Chaudhry finds it hard to dodge allegations of fueling hatred and promoting divisions and ends up being an illustrious part of a massive stumbling block on the path towards regional peace. However, despite the limitations, Chaudhry is one of the finest right wingers in the game today.

Like any person affiliated with the right wing, Javed Chaudhry has managed to brew anti-India and pro-Jamaat sentiments. Similarly, and fittingly, as the quintessential flag-bearer of a patriarchal society Chaudhry has been promoting gender inequality for a while now. He once dedicated a column to empathising with a man who had acid thrown on his wife’s face just because she asked for divorce after falling in love with another man (http://www.express.com.pk/epaper/PoPupwindow.aspx?newsID=1101487647&Issue=NP_LHE&Date=20120401). This classic move of blaming the woman for atrocities that men conjure in the name of honour is the hallmark of the topmost right wingers. Misogyny is one of Chaudhry’s fortes.

Narrating a world class winger’s entire story in a single piece is a massive task. But watching Javed Chaudhry go from strength to strength over 15 years after he broke on to the scene is very inspiring indeed. After making a lucrative fort on the right wing, and with so much in common with the football star, Javed Chaudhry can be dubbed the David Beckham of Pakistani journalism. He’s not as good looking of course, but I don’t think Beckham is one to fall prey to complexes. Beckham knows he can’t pull off that moustache.

Kunwar Khuldune Shahid is a financial journalist and a cultural critic. Email: