“Middle Class” transport service was inscribed on the top front of the bus. As it stopped several girls with colorful tights and tops appeared with hijabs. Some of them had their faces covered with earphones attached with iPods and were biting McDonalds burgers
The good news for so many in the holy land was that a congressionally mandated Diversity Immigrant Visa Program was made available to Pakistan. The regular terms and conditions for applicants were relaxed so that a maximum number of people could apply. It was also decided that all the successful applicants would be relocated to the island of Hawaii in the United States. Initially the consular office only required applications on a plain paper.
It was June the 30th and the last day for filing the applications when All Pakistan Jamiat-e-Nifaaz-e-Islam (Haqeeqi) and Harkat-al-Ghalba-e-Islam (Asli) had held two separate rallies in the Blue Area of Islamabad, to protest against the statements emanating from Washington against Pakistan. They wanted the government of the day to take a tough stance against the Americans.
Allama Haji Abdul Hadd and Maulana Mufti Abdul Badd were leading the two processions. In another part of Islamabad AyatullahRadd was leading another rally held under the auspices of Alamdar Army (AsnaAshri).
All the three rallies converged at a distance from the parliament carrying big banners and chanting slogans demanding death to America. A big stage had been enacted for the leadership and chairs were placed on top of it. Before the stage could be occupied Molvi Hitler from Burewala received a call on his HTC mobile from his cousin, a plumber in the US embassy that he should immediately file an application for Diversity Visa as it was the last day for filing.
Molvi Hitler whispered into the ear of AllamaKlashnikov who whispered into the ear of Chalis Baba AikChor. The secretive act continued and within moments the word spread amongst the entire leadership.
As they realized that a sterling opportunity awaited them, from behind the stage around 30 mullahs jumped onto their vehicles, a Ford Focus, a Dodge Durango and a Cadillac Coupe, and left for the diplomatic enclave. They all had that cherished desire, of having a taste of paradise, during this life; a life which was at hand!
As the crowd waited under the scorching heat, nobody from amongst their leaders was to be found.
As the three vehicles reached outside the consular office, the area thronged with mullahs. Most of them were wearing long kurtas, and shalwars above the ankles and had covered their heads with turbans of various colors. A small piece of clothing thrown over their shoulders, they were wearing beards of various lengths. A pungent smell surrounded the area. The Pakistani guards outside the premises were constantly begging them to form a queue but they were all trying to enter the main gate at the same time.
When it seemed that things were getting out of hand, the security staff requested the marines to handle the situation. Two of them appeared with their Remington shotguns and fired a couple of shots in the air. That brought the situation under control but then somebody from the crowd chanted “amreekijaraheeit!” and everybody responded by shouting “murda bad!” Another cried “amreekakajoyaarhai!” and the rest responded with “ghaddarhaighaddarhai!” . Next, someone chanted “amreekighalbanamanzoor, namanzoor!”
While all this was going on, an American lady consular officer, around 35, came outside to see what was happening. She was wearing a red skirt and high heels. As the congregation caught sight of her, what followed was, pin drop silence. One of the marines asked her to stay there for a while until things got in order but incapable of enduring those libidinous looks, she immediately left.
The marine was a young boy who observed that everybody in that group was gazing fixedly at him in a conspicuous manner. Some mullahs even made some sexually explicit gestures towards him. Feeling quite embarrassed rather harassed, perhaps sexually, he also left behind the lady officer.
Amidst a lot of hue and cry outside the consular office, a large group of people arrived in a bus with red color bearing that prominent mark of a sickle and a hammer. As they came out of the bus one could see them wearing red shirts with images of Lenin, Mao and Che. They were all members of Neo-Communist Party of Pakistan and had come to apply for US visas.
As all rushed towards the main gate, one of their leaders went on top of the bus and asked them to stop and show some discipline. “How can we topple the bourgeois to establish the rule of the proletariat in the land of the exploitative capitalist if we do not follow the principles laid down by Marx and Engels? Discipline my dear comrades discipline is the path through which we have to unshackle the fetters of free market capitalism! And we have nothing to lose but our chains! To abandon the road to serfdom, please in a queue, dear brothers a queue for filing the visa applications. And be prepared to fight the liberation war!”
However, none paid any heed to the call of the comrade who then joined them all who were pushing their way through the main entrance.
As the hullabaloo continued a strange bus arrived. On the front and back of the bus were pictures of mosques and Muslim holy places with various sacred verses written all over, but on the sides were huge paintings of semi-nude Katrina and Kareena. The paintings were further embellished with erotic poetry. “Middle Class” transport service was inscribed on the top front of the bus. As it stopped several girls with colorful tights and tops appeared with hijabs. Some of them had their faces covered with earphones attached with iPods and were biting McDonalds burgers.
The girls were followed by a number of boys in jeans and bush shirts. They were wearing earrings and bangles and had tattoos on their arms, yet they had small beards and were wearing headbands with the kalima inscribed on it. That was a strange group. They would sing a pop song in unison, and then chant slogans for the enforcement of Islam not only in Pakistan but all over the world. They would sing American and Indian rap followed by a patriotic song to be followed by abusive language against India, Israel and the USA.
A “red-shirt” approached a boy who had just come out of the “middle class” transport and asked why he wanted to go to the USA. “You know our politicians are corrupt, India is our eternal enemy, and Jews are hatching conspiracies against us. But Islam is panacea to all our ills. The only hope we have is army and Imran Khan and we also support the Taliban warriors who are defeating the Americans and enforcing Islam,” came the reply.
“We would go to the US and spread the message of Islam”, he asserted. The boy then put his arm around a girl whose face was covered but was wearing a very short top and her entire belly was visible. “We will win against the agents of Jews, Inshallah,” said the boy. “Amin,” said the girl. The boy patted on her hip with a lustful smile on his face.
That group also thronged the main gate.
Some weeks later, 10000 of the applicants received US visas including 6000 mullahs who were to emigrate to the peaceful island of Hawaii.
The fresh floral air, the warm tranquil waters, the breathtaking natural beauty and the peace-loving community of the pacific island of Hawaii was soon to experience a taste of Islam.
(To be continued)
| Waseem Altaf is a social activist. |
